New Year, screw me

I thought I’d be more hopeful.

I’m still dying, truly

Deep thoughts, mom’s sofa.

I’m in the middle of rebirth

I’m counting to ten.

I’ll keep my breaths constant

Deep breaths, don’t give in.

I’m moving forward now

I can honestly feel the shifting.

I’ve got much to move toward now

I can feel my spirits lifting.

I’m careful with my stroke.

I keep my back straight and controlled.

I consider before I provoke.

Loose words breed a hateful soul.

I’m thumbs up, chin down.

Although something keeps lifting my head.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

I never give myself enough cred.

I’m believing supernaturally.

I’m afraid of what I know.

I feel Angels tapping me.

I know it’s time to grow.

I can’t really explain it all

Some things are better kept to self.

When I try, I come across as a know-it-all

If they only knew I’m seeking help.

Grief has had its way with me

Now I’m battling the Truth Giant.

Holy Spirit please stay with me

Every word that comes out is defiant.

I’ve entered a realm of self that I’ve never known

I’ve analyzed each card I’ve been dealt

I’m afraid to call this state, Home.

It’s like I’m walking on stelts.

The truth is, I’m crying over corpse rags and scattered ashes.

My excuse is, they never said goodbye when the light flashed in.

All I know is we’ve got to keep on keeping on.

All I know, is I’ve got a shoulder you can lean on.